I get so tired of the working mom vs. stay-at-home mom war that seems to emerge several times in every decade. It just reared its ugly head several months back when a comment was made in the media about Presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s wife staying home to raise their five boys. This comment from a working mother herself, got women everywhere up in arms over the choice to stay home or the choice to go to work. Back in the 1980′s and 1990′s Oprah Winfrey would devote entire shows to this subject. At the time, I was a full time stay-at-home mother and I wished I could have been her guest because in one statement I could END this war permanently!
I finally had figured it out, there is not a right or wrong answer for women. According to the Bible a woman can choose either route with her life, a woman is allowed to work. The Proverbs 31 woman who many portray as the perfect stay-at-home mother also owned a vineyard and went away on trips to buy things for her household. The Bible portrays her as savvy. I know some argue that a woman should not work when her children are small and I do firmly believe this too, but with the internet and the rise of Mommy Bloggers and with all the women who run businesses from their homes now, a mother could still be at home and be ignoring her children. Being home is not the answer if she is working at home and not emotionally or physically present with her children.
Yet the difference between the working mother and the stay at home mother is simply one thing….it’s the memories. What will she remember about her children when she is old and what will her children remember about her when they are grown?
Was she there to remember their first step, their first words, their first temper tantrums, the first time they pointed at a bird or discovered a dandelion blowing in the wind? Or was she in a board meeting working and a sitter captured these moments?
When her children are older, will they have these incredible memories of mom and stories to tell about about all the things she had them do and about all the places she took them and all of their experiences together or will they talk about these things knowing she was absent from most of their lives?
When she is old will she remember the day she became Vice President of her company and when she got the prestigious corner office because her merchandising sales tripled in one year after she nearly worked herself to death or will the things she accomplished in business, not matter as much to her as her family?
When she dies, who will have the great stories of life with Momma, will it be her co-workers or her children or will the family stand by her grave knowing that mother made a lot of money but scarcely knew them!
Ladies you can do anything you want with your life but when you are old is when it will matter to you which path you chose.
There is no war between working mothers or stay at home mothers…ONLY MEMORIES.